“The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.” Galatians 5:  22-23

We recognize gentleness when we experience it, don’t we?   When I was a twenty-something this scene made a lifetime impression on me.  A grown man knelt down in front of a small child so that he could talk to her face to face. I do not recall a word of the conversation, but I will always remember how this young lass responded to this kind and gentle gesture from a gracious and wise adult. Did she feel valued  cared about? Yes, she did. Did she feel God’s love through this person? Yes, she experienced a gentle and quiet spirit, precious in the sight of the Lord.  Focus attention speaks volumes about empathy and caring.  “Your beauty should be that of your inner self, the unfolding beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3: 4.

 In my adult friendships and relationships, our patient and loving God has been coaching me for many years on being more gentle in my spoken words and actions to my friends and family. I look to Jesus and ask the Holy Spirit to help me guard the words I speak so they protect the relationships with my loved ones. My job at our family farm is connecting with people, mentoring our team, and interacting with our guests.  There is plenty of opportunity to share words and actions. Words spoken with consideration when connecting with people, will help encourage, reassure, and communicate “You are special to me!” When you think about it, words can either build another person up or tear them down. When I mess up, and I do, it’s important to stop, and say:   I am sorry. I was wrong.  Forgive me.   If I am not sure the best way to comfort my husband, I can ask him directly, “What can I do that would be helpful to you, to make things better in this situation?” With our adult children, I find it is helpful to ask them when they are about to share something, “Would you like me just to listen, or would you like my feedback? “We humans are wired for relationships, and it can feel lonely when life throws you a curve ball.   Just knowing someone will come along side and care enough to gently reach out when someone is struggling, is huge. It makes me feel that I am not alone, in whatever chaos is surrounding me at that time.  It is especially helpful, but not necessary, if a person can empathize because they have gone through a similar thing in their life. As we open our hearts and connect with a friend, we can allow the Holy Spirit to guide our words and actions:  I listen. He speaks. He listens. I speak. Think of this as an adventure in faith!  Try asking your friend, who is discouraged, sad, or angry, “Is there anything you would like me to pray for you?” Bet no one will turn you down when you offer to pray with them…  “A gentle answer turns away wrath.”  Proverbs 15

Gentleness can also be small gestures such as waving and noticing someone, hugging a hurting person, bringing a meal, sending a caring card, delivering a thoughtful gift, sending a thinking of you text or call.  How about welcoming a spouse home when he or she has been away and sitting face to face and focusing on sharing what is important to each other that day. These may seem like small things; however, they can make you feel cherished and treasured. We are blessed that our church family over   many years has had a caring and gentle spirit. “Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth”2 Timothy 2: 25

 When we open the pores of our soul to God’s presence, He gives us more and more the desire to be gentle. Do not be concerned if the fruit of gentleness takes a while to ripen. My mother said to me growing up, “If you had been a boy, you would have been our football player!”  With the Lord’s help and with many years coaching from the Holy Spirit whispering in my ear, I am still a work in progress. When we reach towards Him for strength, when our world bottoms out, Father God will meet us everywhere:  above, below, on all sides. He will carry us through like a caring, gentle father, as we lean on Him and trust Him. “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:  28-30.  “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalm 19: 14.

 Father God, I pray that as you fill us with your deep abiding love for us, and as we look to Jesus, we can join you, Lord, in coming to the aid of your children, the recurring theme of the Bible.

Susan Hurd